There are some experiences I had with my Guru that pop up again and again in my mind. I remember once in the late Autumn of 2001, a Sunday function had just ended, and Guru’s car was going up the 85th Avenue hill. I saw an old Sikh man crossing the street, slowly, and Guru’s car was going slowly and Guru’s car drove past me and he folded his hands and bowed to me, but it was like this flash of light and etched in my memory is me standing on the curb with folded hands, and the Sikh man crossing the street behind me. It’s like an inner photograph. I think about that moment often.
On October 22nd, 2006, I asked Guru a question about Beethoven and Bach. I told him that I love their music, and these were my words, “Very, very, very, very, very much.” And Guru said, “VERY good!” The emphasis was on “VERY”, that he was so pleased that I have the capacity to enjoy this music. But when I got the recording, I realised he had not said “very good”. He had said, “Bah, bah, bah, bah, bah!” But I heard it as “very good”. It’s almost like I got the meaning of Guru’s utterance through the vibration that came from him, and that feeling or vibration was expressed to my physical mind in a way that would be easiest for me to understand. So, I heard “very good!”, as that was what Guru meant by “bah, bah…”
My question was about the essence or quintessence of Beethoven’s and Bach’s music, and when Guru started talking about Beethoven, he said that with Beethoven, when you think of him, it is like a huge tree, and I leaned into the microphone and I said, “YES!” But this also does not appear in the recording. It’s almost as if Guru was talking to me on a subtle, akashic level, and I was responding on that level as well.
Another time, my friend, Aron (not his real name), an inspired seeker from Israel, had joined the rest of us on 85th Avenue to watch Guru’s car go up the hill. As soon as Guru saw Aron, he reached out the window and blessed him four or five times with utmost joy and enthusiasm. He said something also to Aron, maybe “Bah!” Aron was smiling, almost crying with joy. He was so happy!
I remember once Guru was selling CD’s from the greatly gifted sitarist Anoushka Shankar, Ravi Shankar’s daughter. I had spent the whole day cleaning my room, which was a very rare event for me at the time. Guru was handing out the CDs, and when he handed me mine, he gave me the brightest smile, full of joy, confidence and assurance. And for hours after that I felt resonating strings within me, just humming and vibrating with joy. I just felt I had become some stringed instrument myself, and I was just immersed in joy.
Another time, Guru mentioned to one of his visiting guests, the sister of one of his close disciples, that she had been a devout Buddhist seeker in Burma in her past life, and that she visited many, many sacred temples and stupas in Burma. I felt a lot of joy when I heard Guru reveal this woman’s prior spiritual Buddhist incarnation. When it was time for prasad, as I was passing by him, I saw Guru blessing me in a way he never had before. His head was moving up and down so slowly, and his eyes were flickering like the shutter of a camera, at a million revolutions a second. I felt, with no outer evidence or corroboration, that the Buddha used to bless his disciples like this. Guru was expressing his oneness with the Buddha by showering his blessings on me in this way.
Another time, when Guru was honoring the memory of his dearest friend, Pir Vilayat Khan, who had just passed, when Guru asked us to pass by him, Guru gave me just the sweetest smile, just the kindest, sweetest smile. I felt that had my life been a little different, I might have followed the Sufi path, and have been happy in that mode. (I am, of course, extremely grateful that I found Guru and his path)
Just an interesting aside: I have heard that Pir Vilayat Khan’s disciples were the only people that Guru would freely allow to touch his feet.
I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to read Guru’s books, to immerse ourselves in his writings. Recently I encountered a young man sitting by himself at the old indoor basketball court at my local YMCA. He told me his name was Logan. We spoke for a little bit, and I put on my shtick for him, about my imaginary rattlesnake and my homicidal aunt who just got out of jail (I have no rattlesnake, and no aunt). He laughed, fortunately.
Then we started talking about different college majors and he told me he was studying liberal arts, so a general, non-specific study focusing on the humanities. I told him that it is good to cultivate a life-long habit of reading, and I try to read for at least three hours a day (Guru’s books of course!), and not to confine his learning to four years at college.
I also told him that when he reads, he should make an effort to read from actual books, not from any phone or computer. I started quoting Guru’s comments on how important paper is, how paper embodies and preserves the achievements of the human brain, which is nothing but light, and that paper is also sacred to the goddess of learning, Saraswati, and that it is a crime to ever touch paper with the feet. If we want to absorb the subtle, delicate qualities of whatever we are reading, we must read that thing from ink and paper.
“Very elegantly stated!” Logan replied. Of course, everything I was saying came straight from Guru’s books.
I like what Guru says in his inspired book Obedience or Oneness:
“My writings are not borrowed thoughts, but the expressions of my own experience. Some philosophers, professors and scholars borrow ideas from others; the ideas they write about do not come from their own realisation. In my case, my grammar may be absolutely wrong, but the consciousness that I reveal is a divine consciousness. So even if I say, “I goes,” there is no problem. But when I say “I”, it will carry tremendous spiritual strength and spiritual power. This is true not only when I say it, but also when all spiritual Masters say it.”
(https://www.srichinmoylibrary.com/oo-9)
I didn’t mention Guru’s name on this occasion, but I still felt Guru’s Light operating as I spoke to this boy in the basketball court, sharing Guru’s thoughts about the importance of physical books.
Interestingly enough, I dreamt a couple of nights ago that I attended a performance of Bach’s B-Minor Mass in an old church in Chicago. Many disciples were there. Before the concert started, in my dream, I caught myself remembering the following question and answer:
[Why] Is that… when you are in churches you can feel the love?
Sri Chinmoy: “It is because thousands of people have prayed there for many years.”
(https://www.srichinmoylibrary.com/med-16)
And, even in my dream, I felt that Guru’s words are not just words, but they are surcharged with light, power and beauty. From this church I saw in my dream, I had that experience of feeling serene and gentle love.
Two years ago, I had to take a week and a half off of work to deal with a health issue. I just spent my time, hour after hour, day after day, studying Guru’s books. I cherished them like never before. And the day I got back, I felt like I was seeing everything through the filter of the Transcendental Photograph! I saw his Transcendental in front of me, and I felt I was meditating on it while doing my daily tasks and taking care of the customers. One of my supervisors told me that I looked really good. I could tell he could feel the peace and joy that I had received from Guru’s writings. And the fact that I saw the Transcendental the entire day, reinforces my belief in Guru’s oft-repeated maxim, that his books are one of the easiest ways to enter into his highest consciousness.
Interestingly enough, Sundar, our barber-scholar-humorist-seer, told me that Guru said you don’t have to buy all of his books. You can buy one book, and if you can read it every day, that is enough. You just need one book. You will get Guru’s consciousness. Sundar said, “Guru wouldn’t say that if it wasn’t true. Why would he say that in the first place? It’s bad for business!”
I was speaking to a friend today about one of my highest experiences, the Riverside Peace Concert that the Master gave on the 23rd of August, 2000. It is such a majestic cathedral!
I remember that the organ was the last instrument Guru played that day. And as he was playing, I felt this coolness come over me, and I heard, or I felt that I heard, a voice repeating, “Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary…” and I felt this otherworldly love, like love that sweeps like a wind off of a distant ocean. It was just this pure, sweet, mysterious love. I felt that this Consciousness was descending into the room, and I felt the voice whisper again, “It’s an Avatar. It’s an Avatar. It’s an Avatar.” Over and over, it just said, “It’s an Avatar.” And I knew it was referring to another Master, another Avatar who had just entered the room- Jesus Christ. I remember everyone was enthralled, enraptured, stupefied. We all knew. My first impression of Christ was, “Oh, he’s another Buddha!”
I’ve always thought that I had Christian incarnations, that I have a link with Christian spirituality, so why would my first impression of the Christ be “Oh, he’s a second Buddha!”?
I asked this question of Ushashi, who wrote “Thy Will Be Done: A Christian Journey to Sri Chinmoy”, about her experiences as a Protestant Minister, and how her spiritual seeking eventually led her to Guru’s path. She told me that perhaps I have also been Buddhist, and that I was trying to assimilate Christ’s presence and divinity in a way that would be relatable to a Buddhist- that Christ is another Buddha. This is not totally illogical. In Guru’s play “The Son”, when Jesus Christ is studying in a classroom in India, the teacher points to him, and says of Christ, “He is a world-saviour. He is another Krishna.” (https://www.srichinmoylibrary.com/son-12)
Again, maybe I responded that way to Christ, by thinking of him as the Buddha, because these great Avatars all come from the same room, and are brothers.
I think I felt Christ’s Third Eye, his supernal Will- Power, just unthinkable, unfathomable Will-Power, overwhelming Will-Power, luminosity and divinity.
I also felt that Christ travels with his companions, his dearest devotees. I felt that he brought not only himself and his mother, but hundreds or thousands of his dearest devotees, adorers and worshippers. They travel with him.
This experience was special for me, most sacred and special, because it is the only time I ever had a truly collective experience on this path. Hundreds and hundreds of us felt it. You can read about other people’s experiences at this concert, now twenty-five years distant, here:
One thing recently struck me about this concert, and I wanted to share my thought: Here, all of us, Sri Chinmoy’s disciples were just basking and basking in the light of Lord Jesus Christ, but Guru did not stop playing the organ. He did not outwardly acknowledge Jesus Christ’s presence in any way. The Supreme wanted him to play the organ to reveal His Light, and that was what he was going to do. Nothing was going to shake him or deter him from that purpose. He could have stopped his performance, and asked us to rise and fold our hands. He didn’t. He knew that he didn’t have to say anything. We were spiritually developed enough to feel it. This is one of the ways Sri Chinmoy honoured his own disciples’ spirituality. He didn’t have to tell us everything. We can know certain things ourselves.
Also, Guru said that his most important quality was poise, equanimity. Guru once said that his poise was one of the easiest things for seekers to see in him- that he is always fully in control of every situation. Nothing can shake him. Not tragedies or triumphs, or even the presence of Lord Jesus Christ Himself. Guru has his poise, his most important quality.
I like this poem, from “The Goal Is Won”, as it touches on the qualities of love and poise:
“Love-wind blows
In all directions,
Cheerfully, speedily
And
Fruitfully.
Who divinely follows?
Emperor-Calm
Of Eternity’s Height.”
(Sri Chinmoy, The Goal is Won, Sri Chinmoy Centre, New York, 1974)
Another thing: when Guru wanted to go and see Sri Ramana Maharshi, the Mother adamantly opposed this. She did not want him to see another Master. In fact, it was forbidden for Aurobindo’s disciples to go see Ramana Maharshi, because they felt his presence would be too powerful and it would take them away from the Ashram.
But at the Riverside Church, Guru mediated for us the experience of the Lord Jesus in His aspect of infinite Glory, and we were all adoring and worshipping Him. How many Masters would be generous enough to let their students admire and adore another Master, another Teacher? But this aligns with what Guru said- that no other spiritual figure has ever appreciated and honored the other Masters the way Guru has. This speaks not only to Guru’s kindness and magnanimity, but also to his own height. Guru’s title for his play about Krishna applies also to himself, for Sri Chinmoy is equally “The Singer of the Eternal Beyond.”
