If I recall correctly, which is a very big “IF”, Sri Chinmoy mentions somewhere that, at the moment of death, the soul often feels sorry over how much time it has wasted. He says that all of us waste time.
I mention this because I have a habit of visiting one of Chicago’s last great bookstores, Open Books, and I try to buy new books every other week. Often I buy books on Haydn, my favorite composer, or fiction by Muriel Spark or Edith Wharton, or biographies of Richard Feynman, and most recently a slightly quaint but brilliant economics book Freakanomics (I’ll have to mention this one to Tejvan).
And I never read them. I only read Guru’s books. I don’t read any of the books I buy. I just want them near me.
But recently I’ve been feeling my Master’s sadness, that I accumulate these books, but do not read them. He’s told me that if I could develop a little more speed and focus in my daily activities, and if I brought forward more determination, I could read these books- and still have plenty of time to read his books as well.
There is always time to do the things you want. There is. Guru says if we are working twenty-four hours a day for God, then God will give us twenty-five hours to please Him.
When I worked at Victory’s Banner, I read a lot. My job ended at three o’clock, and I read obsessively. I devoured over one autumn the complete works of E.M. Forster, including “Maurice”, which is how Guru would sign my name before he gave me a new one. It’s funny how all of Forster’s novels include at least fifty pages of nostalgic reveries about Cambridge, including intricate details on the diet and menu of Cambridge scholars of the day, the endless tree-lined paths, the still quite dangerous motorcar taxis. I love Forster’s work- Howard’s End above all with its gloriously understated climax (the protagonist inherits a house), with “A Passage To India” being a noteworthy second, with its ruminations on how colonization affects the colonizer as much as the colonized.
So, today, after I log off, I’m going to finish the story by Edith Wharton that I just recently began but put aside. It’s kind of hilarious, that the story is found in her book of short fiction, Roman Fever and Other Stories, but the cover blurb reads “Winner of the Pulitzer Prize for The Age of Innocence.”
It’s kind of like advertising Hamlet by saying, “Performed for the first time in 1601 for King James!”
Shakespeare is not great because his troupe performed for Kings and Queens. He’s the greatest poet of all time! (I am a Bardolator) In the same way, Edith Wharton towers over American literature! Her writing is endlessly beautiful, haunting, and deep. Her short fiction is the among the very best I have encountered in English. A lot of her work deals with questions of honor, promise keeping, and sacrifice. I don’t know if she read the Ramayana or not, but she shares Valmiki’s sentiment that it is sacrifice that makes us human.
Sri Chinmoy writes, “A heart without love is no heart. A life without sacrifice is no life.”
I get so invested in her character’s dilemmas that I can’t put the books down.
I wish I drank coffee. It would make reading these books easier if I had a mug of java. I’ll try rooibos tea and see if this helps.
I spoke to a friend about my latest poetry memorization assignment, From the Source To The Source, and I told him that the first poem I learned from the book pertains to America and India. I recited it from memory:
“I dearly love my India and its age-old silence-peace,
I dearly love my America and its child-heart’s beauty-increase.”
And he knew the song and sang it on the spot!
I didn’t know it was also a haunting song!
And I thought, yes- this is exactly what Guru wants- for a disciple to share a poem he’s just memorized, and for his friend to enlighten him by singing the song!
I know this young man spends many hours a week practicing for Kailash’s group, the ensemble that has endeavored to sing all of the Master’s 23,000 songs. But I didn’t know these people could actually recall songs they’ve sung years before!
I have more things to say, a lot more- but my homework is to read an hour before bed, it is getting late, and I have no time to waste.
–Mahiruha
Guilty too. I’ve often bought books, that stand on the bookshelf, then get sold on ebay.
Everyweek I go to Blackwells, I like to be surrounded by books, but just don’t have mental space to read like I used to. I get so much from reading Sri Chinmoy, I don’t have the mental space for more. Though maybe if I cancelled tv subscription, I would get back into reading.
Freakanomics is OK, but you should check out “Economics without the boring bits”or “The Economics Bible” by Tejvan Pettinger – they are slightly better.